Sunday, October 19, 2008

Show me a direction, please?

A lot of thoughts are going through my head right now.

I am tired of everything, mentally, physically, emotionally... The stress is killing me. I seriously need a hug. =(

Things are just even more screwed up than before, everything is going south and there is no sign of it stopping. I'm in dire need of someone to talk to, someone who don't judge, someone who just listens and point me to the right direction. Though it would be easier to just give up everything and quit but I chose to stay and confront it. And the outcome? Needless to say, its ugly. I'm like walking in a dark tunnel without seeing the light on the other end of it. That damn light, I am satisfy to be able to have a glimpse of it. Just one glimpse to let me know the path I have taken is the correct one. Is that too much I am asking for?

I really really hate to admit that I am having difficulties in improving. I seem to be repeating all the stupid things I have done. And being a super hard necked person, I tend to not learn from it, end up making a fool outta my self. Just someone please, stop criticizing, save your nonconstructive sarcastic comments and tell me what the fuck I should do instead, point me to a new direction, I am tired of walking down the same path over and over again.

Well it is suffice to say I am thoroughly defeated by my self. It may seem like butterflies and sunshine outside of me all the while, but in the inside, its just dark and lonely... emo... I guess Mel is correct some how, I tend to wear a mask to hide everything under it. Only to show a little of me every now and then.

Please, point me to the light for once.