Sleepless Nights

IT is always nights like these that will make me think a lot. I think about all kinds of stuffs, some good, some bad, mostly bad stuffs though these days… The good stuffs seem to be running dry in my life right now. Ain’t complaining, since I have my fair share of ups and downs like every single Dick, Jane and Joe out there. Just that this time, it seemed to last a wee bit longer than usual… I guess I will pull through it as usual, I’ve always pull through all this kinda stuffs, time will help me heal the wounds inflicted upon me. Slowly, but surely.

Well this post is a bit special due to the reason that I have never fired up my Windows Live Writer to start blogging before during sleepless nights like this. I guess, everyone have their firsts.

Besides that, this post is special because this is my first post to my blog ever since I have moved to Kampar.

A lot have happened lately. One of the most prominent and heartbreaking one that left a great deal of sorrow and a gap within the hearts of me and my housemates is the passing of Zero, our pet puppy. At this point of time, I don’t know if I should continue writing this, as the pain of digging our boy Zero here, a grave have inflicted some great deal of shocked and despair within me. Never have I picture myself digging someone a grave. I promised myself, this would be the first and the last time I am going to dig someone a grave.

The pain of losing something so dear and meaningful to anyone is just so great that no living thing should be force to go through it. And yet, it is happening right in front of my eyes, and I can’t do anything to stop it.

Despite the lack of expression when I saw Zero’s lifeless body, so blissfully lying on his favourite blanket in my friend’s room, while my friend weeping away, literally crying her eyes out. The ordeal is just so great for that split second that I felt some kind of numbness, so much that, I don’t really know what kind of expression should I give. It just hits you like a train. After much later, when I was digging the grave, I saw the face of my two housemates, with tears flowing down their cheeks uncontrollably under the vain light far away from them, that I told my self that I must be the stronger one among them, for I am the only guy in the house and I believe that I have the strength to help them carry the emotional baggage that is inflicted upon them. I know that I am no saint, but to get you guys through this painful times, I am available all the time for you guys to dump your baggage on me.

 

To my housemates,

I know it’s difficult now, having to lose something so dear to you in this short period of time. But no matter what life throws to you, you have to face it and accept the fact that it is no longer there anymore. Use your courage to help yourself. Give yourself a short while to be sad and then pick yourself up and continue walking. You know that they will be up in heaven watching you and giving you their blessings. Whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Be strong girls…

 

And rest in peace Zero… We’ll miss you.